I am an inspiration

*Piak* (smacks palm on cheek) No Sir, I am not dreaming. I can actually inspire someone to post. No really...

Not your typical someone on the street, mind you. That someone is an engineering graduate with B.Eng(Hons) summore ar! Oh... how I long for that 4 letters behind my name too! No honours also nevermind lah. Again, not your typical mechanical or electronics/electrical or computer engineering grad but a chemical one. Someone who is on the top 90 something percentile in TOEFL score!

Mrs Joy Bongo - take 6

Read what she has to say to me when I didn't turn up. One and a half hours more till April 1st. Johannesburg is 6 hours behind. Is it time for me to tell the truth? Go on... flame me if you think I played her out.

=======================Quote=======================
Date: Fri, 1 Apr 2005 00:25:47 +1000 (EST)
From: "mrsjoy bongo" Add to Address Book
Subject: where are you and what have done?
To: ks

Dear Mr Kia Su,

What have you done to me?

I came to the airport at about 6 AM waiting for you and I could not find you amoung the people who arrived on flight by SQ478 at 7:00am from Singapo.I was there with my female friend carrying a "sign board that read Mr Kia Su" and yet we could not see you nor did any body approach us to say he was "Kia Su".I left when it became certain you were not in that flight.

So what have you done? Did you deceive a widow who wanted to do a business with you.Tell me, I need an asnwer.I checked your name with Singapore air line but was told no such person boarded nor arrived with that flight.And,infact,you never booked to fly with the airlines not to talk of boarding or arriving with the flight.

So what have you done,man! you made me wait with my son and daughter only to make me feel disappointed.

I am looking forward to hearing from you since you don't want to call me.

Sincerely,
Joy Bongo
=======================UnQuote=======================

Mrs Joy Bongo - take 5

I will be travelling to meet Mrs Joy Bongo today in Johannesburg. Will be arriving Johannesburg at 7am later today.

=======================Quote=======================
Date: Wed, 30 Mar 2005 19:07:10 +1000 (EST)
From: "mrsjoy bongo" Add to Address Book
Subject: are you there?
To: ks

Dear Kia Su,

I am wondering whether your arrival on the 31 March is still realistic because you have failed to answer my email.

Please write me and confirm your arrival once again so that I can wait for you at the airport as agreed.

Thanks so much,
Joy Bongo
=======================UnQuote=======================

Yes, wait for me at the airport. I will definitely show up.

=======================Quote=======================
Date: Wed, 30 Mar 2005 05:03:32 -0800 (PST)
From: "KS" Add to Address Book
Subject: Re: are you there?
To: "mrsjoy bongo"

Dear Mrs Joy Bongo,

Here is my flight schedule again. As you can see my flight no. is SQ so it is very obvious I will be travelling by Singapore Airline.

31 March
Arrive Johannesburg by SQ478 at 7:00am from Singapore

5 April
Depart Johannesburg by SQ479 at 2:40pm to Singapore

See you tomorrow at the airport.

Rgds,
Kia Su
=======================UnQuote=======================

Let's see what happens afterwards.

Another earthquake

Is there another earthquake in Sumatra right now? Then why am I feeling groggy? Why am I always thinking the room I am in is swaying. Especially when I am alone like now when I am blogging or online or purging or reading the papers or watching the telly? Is it just me or are you feeling what I am feeling? Yea, my mind must be playing tricks on me. Must be another earthquake but not in Sumatra this time... in my mind.

NKOTB

If you have no freaking clue what the title is, then there could be 3 possibilities...

1) you were born in the late 80's or early 90's or
2) you have experienced mid life crisis and lived way passed half your life span or
3) you don't listen to the radio

But I am pretty sure all of you reading this have heard of New Kids On The Block. Is it all coming back to you now?

This group was probably on the the first boy bands started in the mid 80's. NKOTB was made up of 5 gays guys with puny hair styles ie. Joey, Danny, Jon, Jordan and Donnie. Wow, am I gay like them or what? I couldn't believe I can still remember all their names after so long.

They were in every girls' dream. Every girl in CLS would have at least one of their albums. That's gives you an idea how popular they were back then. Their careers peaked in late 80's up to the early/mid 90's. They used to rule planet earth when I was still an innocent teenager religiously attending school.

After the NKOTB so many other boy bands joined in the bandwagon. There were 911, N'sync and BSB. And more recently, you have Westlife, Blue... what else you got? What am I ranting about? NKOTB? Boy bands? Yea, I cannot believe it myself. Sheeesh!!!

Mrs Joy Bongo - take 4

It's been awhile since my last post on my African scams friends. There are at least 2 friends I am still keeping in touch and one of them is Mrs Joy Bongo.

Cut the story short, I have "applied" for a visa to visit South Africa and have also "booked" my return flight tickets to Johannesburg. Do I really need a visa to South Africa??? Anyway, here are the emails that transpired between the two of us....

=======================Quote=======================
Date: Thu, 17 Mar 2005 21:04:01 +1100 (EST)
From: "mrsjoy bongo" Add to Address Book
Subject: when are you coming?
To: ks

Dear Mr Kia Su,

I have not heard from you concerning your travel information.

Have you bought your ticket and when are you coming.

Please let me know.

Waiting to hearing from you,

Joy Bongo
=======================UnQuote=======================

I waited for a few days before I send my reply.

=======================Quote=======================
Date: Mon, 21 Mar 2005 05:06:06 -0800 (PST)
From: "KS" Add to Address Book
Subject: Re: when are you coming?
To: "mrsjoy bongo"

Dear Mrs Joy Bongo

I just received my booking confirmation. I have book
my flights to Johannesburg.

Here is my flight details...

31 March
Arrive Johannesburg by SQ478 at 7:00am from Singapore

5 April
Depart Johannesburg by SQ479 at 2:40pm to Singapore

I hope this date is convenient to you.

Would you kindly revise my hotel booking according to the above. Pls cfm.

Thank you,
Kia Su
=======================UnQuote=======================

Her reply came one day later requesting me to bring USD7,500.00. Do you think someone will actually be waiting for me upon my arrival in Johannesburg?

=======================Quote=======================
Date: Tue, 22 Mar 2005 21:13:57 +1100 (EST)
From: "mrsjoy bongo" Add to Address Book
Subject: everything is ok
To: ks

Dear Kia Su,

Your travel information is noted.

Hotel Rebooking will be done to reflect your arrival and departure dates.

Another thing very important,I hope you would bring along the US$7,500 needed to settle the debt at the security company as this is very important.I would also want to know what color of dress you would wear so as to enable me or any body who fetch you identify you easliy on arrival.Remember also you would open a non-resident account in one of the bank in which the funds-$27.8Million will be deposited upon its claim from the security company,that is after settling the debt.

After depositing the funds,it will immediately follow the transfer to your Malaysian account.

My attorney has concluded all necessary arrangments inorder to ensure a smooth and ordely conclusion of the transfer on your arrival.

Everything is in good shape as we look forward to seeing each other.

Sincerely and looking forward to receiving your reply.

Joy Bongo
=======================UnQuote=======================

Hmmm... thinking of spilling the beans on April 1st 2005 and lead Mrs Joy Bongo to this blog.

=======================Quote=======================
Date: Sat, 26 Mar 2005 22:09:58 -0800 (PST)
From: "KS" Add to Address Book
Subject: Re: everything is ok
To: "mrsjoy bongo"

Dear Mrs Joy Bongo

I am happy to receive your email and am sorry for the late reply. I was busy with my other engagements. Hope u understand. Right now, I am preparing for my visit to South Africa and to settle this transaction with you.

Tomorrow, on Monday, I go to a money changer to exchange for USD7,500 and will bring this money to South Africa.

I understand that I need to open a non-resident account with a bank in South Africa in order for the transfer to take place. Could you check and let me know what documents I need to carry with me to open this account? Can I transfer the money from this non-resident account to my own account in Malaysia after I get the money?

I will most probably be wearing a White Shirt with black pants. Will re-confirm this again before I leave next week.

Let me know who will be meeting me at the airport? Will you be there? I really hope you can be there to meet me in person at the airport.

Thanks,
Kia Su
=======================UnQuote=======================

This is not related. How embarassing can it gets when one cannot remember the words to his/her own national anthem in front of thousands of people in an NBA game? Don't laugh. Can you remember the words to Negaraku?

Meanwhile, Happy Easter to everybody reading.

Singing blogger

Check out fellow blogger singing. Turn up your volume. File size is 3.7mb.

Now click the link on this blog entry for a funny song on London Underground. Before clicking go pee first. Don't say I didn't warn you.... oh and don't forget to mind the gap when peeing.

Is your current job right for you?

I have a way to check whether your current job is right for you.
This test has no empirical evidence yet. So Change job Read at own discretion.

Let's start. Imagine you are in a closed room with a small window. There are 100 bricks inside the room. These bricks are arranged in a particular order. What would you do in the room if you are given 30 minutes in the room? Select one from the choices below.

a> Count and re-count the number of bricks.

b> Mess up the room with the bricks.

c> Arrange the bricks in another order.

d> Throw the bricks on the wall.

e> Ignore bricks. Sleep in the room.

f> Break the bricks into smaller bricks.

g> Sit idle. Don't do anything.

h> Throw bricks out of window.

i> Cling on the bricks.

j> Try different combinations to re-arrange the bricks, then say they have not moved.

k> Climb out of the window to leave the room.

l> Stare out of the window.

m> Request for another person to join you in the room to talk. Not moving a single brick.

Now see what job is suitable for you.
If you have chosen a>, then you should be in Accounts Dept.

b> Engineering

c> Planning

d> Operations/Manufacturing

e> Security

f> IT

g> HR

h> Materials Dept

i> QC

j> Sales

k> Marketing

l> Strategic Planning

m> Congratulations! You should be in Top Management.

Winter

Continuing from my last post on snow and the winter weather, I have some pics showing Winter in Kazakstan.

Here's a map for those who is geographically retarted.

Image taken from Lonely Planet.


You would think ... Oh this is so beautiful, wouldn't you? Think again after you see the next 3 pics.






Damn... my car is literally frozen. Can someone pass me a chisel?

Every flake is different

Have you heard of people saying how every snow flake is different? Well, it's true. As Malaysians, we do not get any snow. We do not get to enjoy the changing of the 4 seasons. From Summer to Autumn (or Fall for the Americans) to Winter to Spring.

Living in a country with only 3 seasons like Malaysia, (yes, no typo here... Malaysia has 3 seasons - hot, hotter and hottest) we are unfortunate (or rather fortunate???) not to be able to experience this magnificient cycle. We have less fashion sense to a certain extent because of this too! In countries with 4 seasons, the fashion and color trends change accordingly. For instance, in Spring, people would love to wear bright, light or pastel colors. Different colors and trends for every season.

In Winter, people would enjoy skiing and snowboarding. Different sports for different season. But here in Malaysia, every sport is the same all year round. It's always about the same sports. How boring is that?

Most Malaysians would have not seen snow in their entire life. One would get so excited when he or she sees snow falling from the sky for the first time. It's such a wonderful experience.

Have you ever wonder how a snow flake looks like? You could actually see the shape of a snow flake if you look close enough especially when the flakes are on the window or when you are travelling in a car and when the snow flakes get stuck on the window of the car.

If you have not seen snow flakes up close, here are some pictures to give you an idea.









In addition, each snow flake has like six sides. See above pics and you'll get the idea. I am sure Gene, Cherry and Letti can verify this.

A bonus pic - here's a rare pic of a professional skier (yours truly) just before he showed all the ang mor how to ski like a real pro....



Have you read bloggers who say that this post is inspired by my wildest, sexiest, most erotic and wettest dream last night someone else's post or something like that? Well, this post is not inspired by anyone or anything. This post is just an impromptu entry. So bug off if you don't like it. This blog is sometimes educational too. Thank you for reading and salam sejathera.

Some jokes first

Q: What is the difference between riding a bicycle and a woman?
A: Riding a bicycle you fix your ass & move your legs, riding a woman you fix your legs & move your ass.

Q: What's common between men and video?
A: Both go backward... forward... backward...forward...backward....forward... stop and eject.

Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-7 days and if it doesn't come means you are in big trouble.

Q: Who is a gynaecologist?
A: He is the only fool on the earth who looks for problems in a place, where most people find pleasure.

Q: Who is an opportunist?
A: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Q: What is a smile?
A: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Q: Who is an Optimist?
A: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

Q: What is experience?
A: The name men give to their mistakes.

I blog u, U blog me

Never have I imagined I could ever get into Ee Fei's pants.... I mean Ee Fei's page. What the &%$# am I doing there? Read all about it in her pants page. Lol!

And to Ee Fei... Hey gurl, why didn't u tell me you wanna put muh hamsup hamsum pics on your blog? Got copyright one ya know? Damn! I should have posted more of muh hamsum and gay pics for ya! Don't worry, it's all cool! :)

Others who want to know about me can also ask Ms Chan.

Folklore my mother told me

My mother used to tell me stories when I was little, I mean really little like when I was 5 or 6 years old young. These stories are not from childrens fairy tale books like Cinderella, Seven Dwafts, Alice in Wonderland and the likes. The stories my mother told me were different. They are more like urban legend stories. Localised urban legend stories, folklore, myths, whatever you wanna name it.

One particular story is not to cut my nails at night. The sound of nails being cut will attract ghosts.

Another one is one should not whistle at night especially when walking alone. Same consequence, ghosts will come after you.

When I was a kid, I was not allowed to point at the moon. If I did, then my ear lobe would be slit when I wake up the next morning.

Have you been told of such stories when you were small?

Behind this blog is a thirty something y.o. girl

Peter told me in the blogger's meet that he thought I was a much wiser older person probably in the mid thirties from the way I write my entries. I guess I am still lucky considering he didn't tell me I anticipate to see an Ah Pek behind the scene of this blog. He didn't expect to see a younger person *ahem* claiming to be writing these posts.

And then there is Ee Fei. For 2 months after spending time here reading my cock and bull posts, she thought I was a girl! She only found out yesterday about my gender after reading my post on shopping for clothes. It turned out that I have purchased a shirt instead of a blouse and pants instead of skirts. I guess I write like a girl huh? Hahaha! Yay, Ee Fei... you go girl! :)

So what's the conclusion? If you combine the two hypotheses from both Peter and Ee Fei, then I become a thirty something year old girl.

Shopping for clothes

Today I did something which I have probably not done in one... no, make that 2 years. I have not bought any clothes for more than 2 years. I couldn't remember when was the last time I went out shopping for clothes. I work in a fashion related industry and yet I seldom buy new clothes. Isn't it ironic? Maybe it's a guy thing, you know. I don't like shopping and am not so fashionastic fanatic about getting myself the latest Paris, Milan or New York's Spring/Summer 2005 clothes collection. However, I do know the latest colors and trends in the casual wear/office wear scene.

I have been to a couple of fashion shows and exhibitions in Paris and Shanghai in the past 3 years coz it's part of my job. One such exhibition which just ended today in Paris is the Première Vision, probably one of the most famous fashion and trend exhibition in the world.

Anyway, back to the topic. I was out shopping for a shirt and a pair of pants this afternoon after work in Gurney Plaza. Was browsing in a couple of places like Parkson, Reject Shop and Factory Outlet but I finally ended up in G2000 and got myself a cotton rich yarn dye end-on-end shirt and 2 pairs of 65% polyester, 33% rayon and 2% LYCRA® pants.



These 3 items burnt a hole in my wallet.

1 piece of e-o-e shirt RM75.00
1 pair of contemporary pants (w/ pleats) RM129.00
1 pair of regular pants RM129.00

I guess I won't be shopping for dress shirt clothes again anytime soon.

Mrs Joy Bongo: Holiday Inn, Johannesburg - take 3

Hello guys and gals. Hope yall had a great day. I just came back from work. As usual, being fwacked around by the bosses and customers. At least I got this little corner to vent out my frustrations and not forgetting my African friends whom I get to fuck in return. Kanineh! Keong Kan la! I get fucked in da office and then I get fuck my African friends back after that.

Among all the attachments I received from those bloody scammers, this one looked the most legit. It's from Holiday Inn in Joburg. Let's see, I got my hotel booked, now I'm gonna apply my SA visa and get my flight tickets. Wooohooo, I am my way....

=======================Quote=======================
Date: Tue, 8 Mar 2005 22:38:44 +1100 (EST)
From: "mrsjoy bongo" Add to Address Book
Subject: booking accommodation
To: ks

Dear Kia Su,

Please find the hotel accommodation booking information.

Take it to the embassy and attach it with your application for visa.

Please send me your picture and possible with a copy of your passport just to have your picture..

Please let me know the out come of your visa appointment at the emabssy.Follow all the advise as I mentioned in case you were asked the purpose of your travel to South Africa.

Note,that the arrival date was tentatively booked from 28 March to April 4,it does not matter,it is just to enable you get the visa.

Thanks so much,
Joy Bongo

=======================UnQuote=======================

Malaysian websites hacked

First, it was USM's (University Sains Malaysia) website which was compromised. USM's website was hacked and defaced not once but twice today. Jump to Jeff Ooi's Screenshots... for more.

Then it was MCMC's (Malaysian Communications and Multimedia Commission) turn.

Suhakam and JKR were next. Both these 2 sites were defaced with the following message...

Click here to see one of the pages in Suhakam's defaced website. I wonder how long will it remain?

=======================Quote=======================
With respect,
In the name of the law, I order you, Malaysian government, please retreat from Indonesian area.
Please don't be too greedy. Indonesia is having bad days recently. The natural disasters, increasing poverty, etc.
Your country is much more prosperous than Indonesia. Don't you be ashamed?

FYI: I'm not a hacker.
=======================UnQuote=======================

What happened to all our Malaysian websites? Have the webmasters/admin people sleeping? How long have they been sleeping? This is becoming so embarassing for Malaysia - projecting the Multimedia Super Corridor and all!

Which other Malaysian websites will be next?

Mrs Joy Bongo - take 2

It's been abit boring the last few days for me. Haven't got any scammers to email to. Damn! I am beginning to miss my African friends. Then finally, my good friend Mrs Joy Bongo replied. Read our last emails here. This is a continuation from where we stopped last week.

There are couple of quick email exchanges between Joy Bongo and myself further below in this post. So feel free to tell me how you want me to reply these scammers. Maybe we could try to carve some money out from these bastards instead??!?!? Wishful thinking, eh?

=======================Quote=======================
Date: Sun, 6 Mar 2005 03:54:09 +1100 (EST)
From: "mrsjoy bongo" Add to Address Book
Subject: REPLY
To: ks

Dear Mr Kia Su,

Thanks very much for your response and am happy to read of your willingness to come to South Africa next week.I am black woman not white,I did not use MONT BLANC but some other cosmetics make up.Thanks you any way for the compliments.I hope you will better of me when you comes. (Hello? I didn't ask you about what cosmetics you used la. I was asking about your pen. Hahaha)

I would not like to send you more picture of mine or the family,when you arrives you will see me and children.I send you that one just to make you feel secure and know whom you are dealing with.

You mentioned in your email that you are expecting the documents that will show the deposit of the funds into my account,I think you got it wrong.The funds is not in any account yet,it is deposited with a security company in sealed box.The funds were packed in consignment like box and kept in a security company. (Ya, I got it wrong. Thousand apologies, you know I have 3 other Africans scumbags friends to fuck with, don't you?)

It is when you arrives and then we will claim the consignment/funds from the security company and deposit it into the non-resident account I mentioned earlier you will open.From this account where the funds will be deposited first,it will then be transferred to your nominated country account in your country.

I pay a monthly service charge of $2,500 for safe keeping of the consignment/fund. This sum is paid to the security company monthly for safe keeping of the consignment.I have defaulted for three months paying which puts me at debt of $7,500 and this sum must be paid if we are to claim the consignment/funds.I am asking whether you could bring this sum with you when you are coming to enable the settlment of this debt thereby enabling us to claim the consignment/funds for its subsequent deposit into the non-resident account you will open as we cannot claim it without paying for the debt. (Now you r getting to your point!)

On the invitation letter to enable you get visa at the South African embassy,it will be ready by Tuesday or Wednesday but I want to suggest,why not seek for a tourist visa first and see if the embassy can grant you one without resulting to invitation letter which might cause delays.You can find out from your local travel agency how to procure this tourist visa,I hope they will assist you greatly in this regards because they must have a better idea of how you will obtain visa to SA without invitation letter from me.Because as you know,am living with my children under asylum status and we don't want exposure from the government until this business is over in which will enable us to come to Malaysia and settle and invest our own share of the funds under your supervision.

I do hope you will read and understand by replying back taking into consideration all the pints I have raised.

Thanks so much,

Joy Bongo
=======================UnQuote=======================

And my reply to her above email was...
=======================Quote=======================
Date: Sat, 5 Mar 2005 09:35:07 -0800 (PST)
From: "KS" Add to Address Book
Subject: Re: REPLY
To: "mrsjoy bongo"

Hello Joy,

Can I call you Joy?

Noted your explanation. I fully understand now. Anyway, I will wait for the certifcate of deposit which you have kept sealed box with the security company. I hope your daughter is able to bring back these documents safely so that you can email it to me quickly.

On the service charge, I think it is only fair that I pay only 30% of it since my share of the US$16.5 million is 30%. Do you agree?

On my visit to South Africa, yes I have asked my travel agent to apply a visa for me but according to my travel agent, whose name is Joyce, she said it will take more than 1 month to apply for a tourist visa. Therefore, I am requesting if you are able to help me arrange a invitation letter so that I would be able to obtain the visa faster. According to Joyce, if I can get an invitation letter from South Africa (for example South African Chamber of Commerce), then I would be able to obtain visa within 2 or 3 days. When do you want me do come? If this is not urgent then I will apply for the visa through my travel agent. But if you need me to be in South African urgently then pls do the needful and email me the invitation letter. I await your reply.

Thanks,
Kia Su
=======================UnQuote=======================

This is what I got from Mrs Joy Bongo today...
=======================Quote=======================
Date: Mon, 7 Mar 2005 20:08:52 +1100 (EST)
From: "mrsjoy bongo" Add to Address Book
Subject: documents
To: ks

Dear Kia Su,

Thanks very much for your email.

For your information,the sum that is involved is $27.8Million not $16.5 as you wrote. (Yalah, whatever la)

I was informed that Malaysian don't need a visa to visit South Africa so I want you to verify this by asking your travel agent.. (Wooohooo! Do you think she really check if visa is necessary for Malaysians to visit South Africa?

I am however planning to get you a hotel booking confirmation which can qualify to get you visa to SA.I was informed that Malaysian don't have difficulty getting SA visa. With a hotel booking confirmation,the embassy will give you visa without question.

Attached are the depository documents:namely:Deed Of Lodge and Proof of Deposit.

Thanks for your understanding,

Joy Bongo


=======================UnQuote=======================

My reply...
=======================Quote=======================
Date: Mon, 7 Mar 2005 04:59:04 -0800 (PST)
From: "KS" Add to Address Book
Subject: Re: documents
To: "mrsjoy bongo"

Dear Joy,

I have just called to check with my travel agent and she insisted that visa is required to visit South Africa. I will wait for you to email me the hotel reservation so that I can attach it to my visa application.

Which hotel will you book for me? Is it in the city of Johannesburg? Pls let me know the name of the hotel once it is booked. Pls book for me at least 2 nights first on 30th and 31st March. I will extend my stay if time is not sufficient. Thanks for your help.

I hope I will have enough time to apply for visa so please rush for me the hotel reservation as soon as possible.

Thank you,
Kia Su
=======================UnQuote=======================

She writes back almost immediately.
=======================Quote=======================
Date: Tue, 8 Mar 2005 00:35:45 +1100 (EST)
From: "mrsjoy bongo" Add to Address Book
Subject: on the booking
To: ks

Dear Kia Su,

Thanks very much for your email.

You did not however acknowledge the receipt of the documents but I do hope any way you received them but just wanted a confirmation.

Ok if the Malaysian needs a visa to South Africa,fine no problem,tomorrow or later this night my self and our family financial attorney will go to the hotel to make the booking accommodation.The Hotel booking will be in Johannesburg.

I will send you a copy of the booking complete with the date of arrival and room but the date of arrival does not matter just for formality purposes.I believe the embassy will grant you a tourist visa as long as you have a hotel booking in your name and the embassy can contact the hotel to confirm if need be.

Make sure you don't tell the embassy you are coming for any business,just tell them you are visiting,you want to see nice sights in Johannesburg, Soweto,Limpopo and Krugger National Park. (Will you take me for sight seeing??)

I believe they will grant you visa because Malaysian don't encounter problem in getting visa to South Africa.I am really looking forward to meeting you.

Thanks so much,

Joy Bongo
=======================UnQuote=======================

I show her I can reply immediately as well.
=======================Quote=======================
Date: Mon, 7 Mar 2005 05:53:04 -0800 (PST)
From: "KS" Add to Address Book
Subject: Re: on the booking
To: "mrsjoy bongo"

Hello Joy,

How are you? Yes, I have received the 2 documents and found that indeed they are genuine documents.

Pls send me the hotel confirmation as soon as possible. You are right, my travel agent told me it is not a problem to get a visa to South Africa as long as I can get a hotel confirmation. Pls let me know the hotel name.

I am also planning to bring my friend to South Africa but this is not confirmed. What is your opinion?

I hope you can make the hotel booking urgently so that I can book flight tickets on my side. I am worry there are no seats available if I book in the last minute.

Thank you,
Kia Su
=======================UnQuote=======================

Another few quick email exchanges between us...
=======================Quote=======================
Date: Tue, 8 Mar 2005 01:12:39 +1100 (EST)
From: "mrsjoy bongo" Add to Address Book
Subject: reply
To: ks

Dear Kia Su,

I was about to sign out my box and go to meet the attorney when I decided to check for the last time and then saw your reply. (Yea right)

yes it is not difficulty to get South Africa visa even with hotel booking confirmation and am happy your travel agent confirmed it,Please make sure you don't reveal the real purpose of your coming here,just follow the way I advise you in the previous email.This is for confidentail reason necessary to achieve the business safely and smoothly.

It is upto you if you want to come with your friend.Do you trust him enough? You must realise this is a very confidential business,so any body who does not have ABSOLUTE need to get involved should not be involved.

I do hope you would understand.

Sincerely,
Joy Bongo
=======================Quote=======================

My last reply to her.
=======================Quote=======================
Date: Mon, 7 Mar 2005 06:18:46 -0800 (PST)
From: "KS" Add to Address Book
Subject: Re: reply
To: "mrsjoy bongo"

Dear Joy,
Thank you for your fast reply. I am waiting for your hotel booking confirmation by email.

I understand your feeling about bringing my friend. Since this is very important to you. I will try to pursuade him not to join me.

In the meantime, I'll be waiting for your hotel booking confirmation.

Thank you,
Kia Su
=======================Quote=======================

Stupid sub-titles

I was watching a talk show on Star TV in Astro just awhile ago. The talk show was Parkinson, a recent addition to Astro's programming in channel 70. The host was talking to 3 guys. 1st guy is Jeremy Clarkson, probably the luckiest man on earth. He is the host of BBC's Top Gear, the show which kinda review new cars. 2nd guy is a comedian and the 3rd guy is Donny Osmond.

Anyway, they were talking about how the fans in America are louder than the British fans. Then the Top Gear host said "I have no fans".

Guess what the Malay sub-title showed?
Answer: I tak ada kipas

Another time, I heard over the radio on mix.fm's Breakfast Show hosted by Shazmin and Richard. They were talking to listeners about dumb sub-titles. One guy called and told them he saw a movie in the cinema and the line was something like "My lips are sealed".

Can you guess again what the Malay sub-title read?
Answer: Bibir saya anjing laut

Beware of 419 scammers

Before anyone of you try to correspond with any 419 scammers, here are links which may provide useful info.

1. Scambusters 419
2. The Special Operations Dept
3. Scam-o-rama
4. South African Police Services
5. Anti-scammer message board
6. Fighting Back at Nigerian 419

Oh well, I think I am gonna just direct those scammer to my blog once I am done with them. But for now, I am going to have more fun with them.

Introducing Mr Brown Savimbi

Now that you have known Mr Emeka South and Mrs Joy Bongo, let me introduce to you another African friend of mine, Mr Brown Savimbi. Let us all try to get to know Mr Brown Savimbi better.

He has attached his family pic and a pic of his brother's funeral. Of cos these are fake pics. lol!

=======================Quote=======================
From: "brown savimbi" Add to Address Book
Subject: STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL
To: brownsavimbi
Date: Thu, 03 Mar 2005 13:00:26 +0200

BROWN SAVIMBI
SADTON, JOHANNESBURG,
SOUTH AFRICA.
Tel 27-83 5749 100
E-MAIL brownsavimbi@webmail.co.za
Sir/Madam,

I know you will be surprised to read from me, especially when it comes from a stranger. But please consider this as a request from a person in dare need of assistance.

Firstly, i must introduce myself; i am MR.BROWN SAVIMBI the younger brother of the late GENERAL JONAS MELHEIRO SAVIMBI OF REPUBLIC OF ANGOLA. The founder and leader of UNION OF TOTAL INDEPENDENCE OF ANGOLA (UNITA). Who was killed on Friday 22nd February 2002 by forces loyal to POPULAR MOVEMENTS FOR THE LEBERATION OF ANGOLA (MPLA) led government of JOSE EDUARDO DOS SANTOS in Moxico province about 700km from the Capital Luanda.

After Angola gained independence from Portugal in 1975, General Savimbi teamed up with the US and the former apartheid government of South Africa in the process sustaining a civil war that had claimed more than 500,000 lives and displaced about four million others. The only time there was little peace in Angola was in 1992, when UNITA took part in elections in accordance with Lusaka protocol, though the election was said to be free and fair by the international community, but UNITA viewed it as been rigged by MPFL party as a result we went back to the bush to resume the war.Before the death of the General, I was responsible for the sales of Diamonds for UNITA and finance control and also one of the General’s personal advisers. I was always traveling secretly to different country mostly African countries to negotiate for the sales of the rich diamonds on behalf of UNITA and in some cases by arms for UNITA in return. I would have been killed with my brother, if not for the fact that I traveled secretly to South Africa to negotiate for the sales of diamonds as usual. I heard of my brothers death while in South Africa through a state run radio and after making several contacts to our bush base in Angola, his death was confirmed and that a lot of his close aids was also killed. I feared for my life and decided to stay back in South Africa. I am presently seeking for political asylum here. I have decided to change my life and have been reflecting on my past life as a rebel, thinking of thousands of live and property that have been lost as a result of my ignorance, greed and lost for material gains and asked God to forgive me. My main focuse now is my future as a Business man.

I got your address from the Johannesburg Chamber of commerce and industry and after going through your profile, i decided to solicit for your assistance to transfer the sum of US$16. 5M (SIXTEEN MILLION, FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATE DOLLARS) into your company/personal account for investment purposes outside Africa. I deposited this money with a security company in South Africa during my previous trips to this Country to look for buyers of our diamonds. As a result of the death of our leader and founder, the war in Angola may come to an end and all UNITA’s assets may be frizzed and if I do not transfer this money out right now to a deferent account abroad I am going to forfeit the whole money. At present I am seeking political asylum which authormaticaly means that my control of this money have stopped in accordance with the financial and immigration rules of this country. I contacted the manager OF the security company with my problem, he advised me to look for a foreign partner so that the name we useed to deposited in the security company will be changed to my foreign partner’s name and afterwards the money will be transferred to his account abroad. He promised to assist and co operate fully in the change of ownership and the subsequent transfer to your account abroad. I shall give you complete details regarding this account when you show interest in assisting me.

From the above, you will understand that my life and my future depends on this fund as such i will be grateful if you can assist me. Since the financial rules and regulation of South Africa do not permit me financial right to such huge amount of money. In view of this i can not invest this fund in South Africa, hence i am prepared to offer you 20% total sum for your assistance while 10% will be set aside
for both local and international expenses that may be incurred by both parties and 70% will be for my investment in your country with your able assistance. For more information on this, please contact me in Johannesburg through this number +27 83-5749 100or through the above e-mail address.

Thanking you in advance for your assistance while I anxiously wait for your reply.

BROWN SAVIMBI

Kind Regards,
=======================UnQuote=======================

=======================Quote=======================
Date: Thu, 3 Mar 2005 05:07:10 -0800 (PST)
From: "KS" Add to Address Book
Subject: Re: STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL
To: "brown savimbi"

Dear Mr Brown Savimbi

I read with great interest your email and I am very sorry for you. I felt sadden to read about your brother. It is terrible to have so much money but unable to use. I like to help. Tell me how to assist.

However, I like to have a larger portion of the US$16.5 million. 20% is too little considering the risk of this transaction. How about 60% for me and the balance for you after deducting all other expenses to be incurred to carry out this transaction? (I must haggle abit. I didn't take Negotiation in my MBA class for nothing u know! :))

Unfortunately, I am unable to contact you by phone or fax since my government is monitoring every incoming and out going calls to other countries especially those from Africa and the middle east countries due to anti-terror regulation in my country.(Do you think she'll fall for this?)

Therefore, we should continue to communicate by email only to avoid any detection by my government. I trust that should be acceptable to you.

Please tell me everything that needs to be done.

Thank you,
KS
=======================UnQuote=======================

=======================Quote=======================
Date: Fri, 4 Mar 2005 08:51:09 +0000 (GMT)
From: "brown savimbi" Add to Address Book
Subject: very happy to hear from you ( attached photos )
To: ks

My dear brother KS, (Wonder since when I became his brother)
I and my entire family were all happy to read from you, thanks a lot for your willingness to assist me in this transaction, On the issue of giving you a large potion of the whole money, i quite agree with you but you should understand that %20 of the whole money comes to be %3,300,000( three million.three hundred thousand USD ) so please let me add another %10 to make it %30. Here is my new email address, ( brownsavimbi2010@yahoo.co.uk ) always write me with this email address because i am having a problem with the first email address i contacted you with.(From 20% to 30%, not enough, I want more share!)

Can i have you phone number but will not discuss of money matters on phone with you since you said that calls from Africa are beeing monitored.(Yup, she fell for it)

Here is my family photo and the burial photo of Mr late Savimbi. Send me your photo as well. I will be waiting for your mail.(Oh! Got photo this time!)

Thanks & God blessing
Brown Savimbi


=======================UnQuote=======================

=======================Quote=======================
Date: Sat, 5 Mar 2005 03:57:13 -0800 (PST)
From: "KS" Add to Address Book
Subject: Re: very happy to hear from you
To: brownsavimbi2010@yahoo.co.uk

Dear Mr Brown Savimbi,

Thanks for your quick reply and for sending to me your family picture. How is your family? You have 3 lovely daughters and your wife turns me on. (Your wife turns me on!!!??? Will I get a reply after writing this?)

Let me introduce myself to you. My actual name is Kia Su. KS is my online name. You know how everyone uses an online name, don't you?

On my share of the money, I insist on the 60%. In order to proof my willingness to help you and your family, I am willing to fly to Johannesburg to meet up with you. However, I need a letter of invitation from your side in order for me to apply for a visa to visit South Africa. Could you prepare an invitation letter to me and send by email to me in the next few days? My details is as below (Must insist on 60% and show him my interest to fly to Johannesburg to meet him)

Name: Mr Kia Su
Passport no: A1685841818

I await for your invitation letter.

You have not read my email properly and I fucking hate to repeat myself. I have told you that my government is monitoring every incoming and out going calls to other countries especially those from Africa and the middle east countries due to anti- terror regulation in my country. If my government were to find out about my contact with you then I will no longer be able to carry out this transaction with you. I am sorry. Pls excuse me for using the word fuck coz I really want to help you but if you do not trust me then I am sad to say I cannot assist you to make this happen. Mr Brown, do you understand? (This is so lame of me. What the hell...)

Thank you,
Kia Su
=======================UnQuote=======================

Mrs Joy Bongo - take 1

My boss would really love to hire these scammers to work for him. They replied my emails with speed. Mrs Joy Bongo in particular can write pretty good England too. Continuing from my last correspondence with her, I have posted
4 emails in this entry. 2 from her and another 2 from me.

1st email - Mrs Joy Bongo wrote....
=======================Quote=======================
Date: Fri, 4 Mar 2005 04:46:52 +1100 (EST)
From: "mrsjoy bongo" Add to Address Book
Subject: THE DETAILS OF THE TRANSACTION.
To: ks

Dear ks,

Thank you very much for responding to my business proposal.I have read and understood your email and would be very comfortable having you as partner because your write up gives me a feeling of a honest person. I do not have much information about you because as lead by my instinct I have choosen your name from a Directory on my search for a reliable business partner believing that you will be honest despite the fact we have not met nor known each other before.

I am ready to fax you documentary proofs of the fund deposit with a security company here in South Africa as well as sending you my picture to further proof my honesty and sincerity. I have decided to give you further details of how you will help me achieve the business and later we can speak on the phone. My business proposal is basically asking for your assistance in transferring the sum of US$27.8 Million into your nominated foreign account for investment purposes under your direction.

Presently myself,and my two children are living in South Africa as provisional asylum seekers which prohibits our rights in banking and financial transactions and it is because of this handicap I seek your assistance for transfer of the fund and more over because of our desire to invest the fund under a cabable hand. Now your role inorder to achieve the transfer of the US$27.8 Million into your nominated foreign account is,you are required to come here in Johannesburg, South Africa,and open a non-resident account so that when the fund is claimed from the security company it will be lodged into the account first for onward transfer to your nominated country account for investment purposes under your direction/supervision.

I will accompany you back to your country after the fund transfer to your account to plan on the investment of my own share of the fund under your supervision. Your coming here to open an account for the fund transfer is as a result of my asylum status in this country which do not give me the legal rights to operate a bank account nor engage in financial transactions in the Republic of South Africa.Your stay here will lasts for 2-3 working days for the transaction to be concluded with the total fund successfully transferred to your nominated country account as a top financial attorney who is assisting us in this transaction will use his vast contacts in the South African banking sector here to ensure a smooth,hitch-free and accelerated transfer of the fund within this mentioned period.

I want to reassure you that this transaction is legal,legitimate and 100%risk free without any danger nor risk of any kind involved but what is required rather is a strict confidentiality to enable us achieve the transaction because of the source of the fund which you are already aware of. I need to know your readiness to come to South Africa or otherwise so that we will know the next step to follow necessary to achieve this transaction without much delays. I look forward to your email response and you can call me on my private number 27-83-7156370 and state your phone number as well as for easier communication between us.

Note:My financial attorney here will draft a Memorandum of Agreement/no Circumvention that will safe guard the interests of you and I during and after the fund transfer to your account/custody. Thank you very much for your understanding and cooperation in advance and feel free to ask question where you don't understand. Looking forward to hearing from you

Sincerely yours,
Mrs Joy Bongo
=======================UnQuote=======================

2nd email - my reply to her on the same day....
=======================Quote=======================
Date: Fri, 4 Mar 2005 09:17:01 -0800 (PST)
From: "KS" Add to Address Book
Subject: Re: THE DETAILS OF THE TRANSACTION.
To: "mrsjoy bongo"

Dear Mrs Joy Bongo

I have not introduced myself to you. Now that I trust you I wish to introduce myself properly to you. My name actual name is Kia Su. KS is my initial and also my online name. You know how everyone uses another nickname online, don't you?

Pls scan and send by email to me the documentary proofs so that I could understand in more details of this transaction. I am waiting for the documents and your picture to be sent by email.

Unfortunately, I am unable to contact you as I have previously mentioned in my last email to you. Pls read again, this time read carefully as I do not like to repeat myself except for this last time. My country's government is spying on all calls made to/from African and Middle East countries due to anti-terror regulation. I hope you understand this clearly now. It is best that we continue our communication by email for now. I will let you know when I am able to contact you by phone and fax. Okay?

Can you consider to give me a bigger share of themoney? I like to request for 50% share of the money and the balance after deducting all expenses to be incurred will go to you. Can you accept this?

I am very eager to go to South Africa to assist you in the matter. I will book a flight to South Africa as soon as I receive your documentary proofs and your picture.

Thank you,
Kia Su
=======================UnQuote=======================

3rd email - Mrs Joy Bongo's reply which I received today with her picture attached.
=======================Quote=======================
Date: Sat, 5 Mar 2005 21:01:40 +1100 (EST)
From: "mrsjoy bongo" Add to Address Book
Subject: MY PICTURE
To: ks

Dear Kia Su,

Thanks again for your kind words.I really appreciate and would want to assure you again of my sincerity and good intentions.I have understand your email as regards the calls and would abide by the demands.

On the percentage issue,I have offered you 25% earlier but I can increase it to 30% as far as you will be honest and assist towards concluding the business for our mutual benefits.

I will send you the depository documents which was issued at the time of the funds deposit with the security company.The depository documents I will send to you is to certify that the security company kept those items on our behalf pending such time we will deem fit to claim them.

I will send out my daughter to go and fetch these documents and she will be back on Monday.I had for safety reasons, kept out the deposit certficate to my brother's house in far away city called Cape Town,my daughter will travel more than one thousand kilometers from Johannesburg where we live to fetch the documents.She will return back with copies over on Monday and I will scan and send them to you. (Hmmm... certificate of deposit. Sounds familiar to me. Does it look anything like one?)

I will aso like you to tell me when you are planning to come to South Africa so that we can start to plan now on your arrival.Knowing your seriousness in coming over is important so that I can be rest assured there will be no going back towards achieving this transaction with you.

Meanwhile,attached is my picture so that you can see whom you are dealing with.please confirm receipt of this email and picture.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,
Joy Bongo

=======================UnQuote=======================

4th email - my reply to her today....
=======================Quote=======================
Date: Sat, 5 Mar 2005 04:12:46 -0800 (PST)
From: "KS" Add to Address Book
Subject: Re: MY PICTURE
To: "mrsjoy bongo"

Dear Mrs Joy Bongo,

Thank you for your email and for your picture. I was surprised to see that you are Black... sorry, I thought you were a White before I saw your pic. But you look very pretty in the picture. Were you using a Mont Blanc pen there? (Yes, I am being racist here)

Anyway, back to the main topic. I will wait for your next email with the documentary proof of the money in your bank account. Send it to me as soon as possible as I want to conclude this business with you in the shortest time possible.

I am able to go fly to Africa by end of next week. However, I need an invitation letter from you in order for me to apply a visa to South Africa. Could you arrange for this invitation letter by monday for me?

Pls include in the invitation letter my details below.

Name: Mr Kia Su
Passport no: PUK1681818 (Nice passport no)

I look forward to your documentary proof (deposit certificate) and letter of invitation to South Africa.

Is it possible for you to send me a picture of your family? Also a picture of your daughter so that I will be able to recognise your daughter when I arrive Johannesburg to meet you.

Thank you,
Kia Su
=======================UnQuote=======================

Introducing Mrs Joy Bongo

The following email is a scam which was mass mailed and I was one of the addresses in the email list. It came from one Mrs Joy Bongo. Cut the long story short. Here's the email and my reply.

=======================Quote=======================
Date: Thu, 3 Mar 2005 03:35:52 +1100 (EST)
From: "mrsjoy bongo" Add to Address Book
Subject: FUND TRANSFER AND JOINT INVESTMENTS!!!!
To: mrsjoybongo2@yahoo.com.au

TEL:27-83-9931-302.
FAX:27-11643-4108.
ATTENTION:DEAR

( ASSISTANCE BUSINESS PROPOSAL)
I got your good contact from the world business enquiry in South African INTERNATIONAL JOURNAL, and I sincerely believe that you are reliable in handling this urgent and international transaction of this sort.I am MRS JOY BONGO, the wife of COL.JAMES BONGO, the chief of army staff and one of the bodyguards of this Excellency General Laurent Kabila, the President of the Democratic republic of Congo (DRC) who was short dead alongside by a co-body guard COL Eny-Kupen on the 16 January 2001 as a result of political conflict and disorder between the generals in the presidential villa.

i am currently based in south africa, Before my husband died in Exchange of guns shorts, I know quite well he deposited the sum of US$27.8M(TWENTY SEVEN MILLION EIGHT HUNDRED THOUSAND) United State Dollars) in a private security firm in south Africa for an investment after retirement in United Kingdom but due to opposition of my late husband, i decided to tranfer the fund for an investment.

However, this proposal is to inform you that I would like to transfer this money into your account overseas or into an offshore account within the shortest time. It is in the light of this, that I took my time to arrange for a confidential and trustworthy individual who will assist me in transferring this fund by coming to south Africa to open a non-resident account, so that we can move out this fund out of
South Africa for security reasons and this will be made possible with the help of my late husband attorney and his friend, the bank manager supervising the transaction. I have intact all the necessary documents covering the business.

Note: This transaction demands the highest degree of trust and secret between us as I have these two options for your assistance towards the transaction.

(a)In appreciation of your effort I have mapped out the sharing of the fund as follows; 70% for me 25% for your efforts,5% for all the expenses incurred in the transaction .

(b)You can as well agree with me to join business of your choice with me in your country.

remember that this business transaction demands all sounds of screcy and confidentiality.Please try and give me your telephone and fax numbers for easier communication,and more details.

Thanks
Yours sincerely
MRS JOY BONGO
=======================UnQuote=======================

And my reply to her was....

=======================Quote=======================
Date: Wed, 2 Mar 2005 09:12:20 -0800 (PST)
From: "KS" Add to Address Book
Subject: Re: FUND TRANSFER AND JOINT INVESTMENTS!!!!
To: "mrsjoy bongo"

Hello Mrs Joy Bongo,

I hope this letter meets you in great health.

I have read your email and I would like to assist you with this transaction. Your story brought tears to my eyes in a manner that I hadn't seen since I lost my virginity in November many years ago.

Unfortunately, I am unable to contact you by phone or fax since my government is monitoring every incoming and out going calls to other countries especially those from Africa and the middle east countries due to anti-terror regulation in my country.

Therefore, we should continue to communicate by email only to avoid any detection by my government. I trust that should be acceptable to you.

Please tell me everything that needs to be done.

Thank you,
KS
=======================UnQuote=======================

Emeka South, take 2

3 days after getting a reply from Mr Emeka South, I decided to respond to his mail. He is offering me 30% of US6,000,000.00 dollars, how can I not reply him?

=======================Quote=======================
Date: Wed, 2 Mar 2005 07:31:44 -0800 (PST)
From: "KS" Add to Address Book
Subject: Re: URGENT RESPONSE AND CALL 27-73-4949086
To: "emeka south"

Attn: Mr Emeka South

Dear Sir,

First of all, thank you for your reply and for answering my questions. I can't express my happiness to be dealing with you in this business. This sounds like the sort of thing that comes along once in a lifetime.

Let me know what I have to do to get your dead father's money. Do I have to kill someone to get the money? Not that I have any problem of killing someone but I want to know exactly what my exact involvement is going to be. You seem like a pleasant gentlemen so I hope I don't have to kill anyone.

I have no direction from your last email of what you want me to do. I hope to hear more details from you and I hope we can finish this as soon as possible. I await your further instructions.

You have given me your telephone number which I have not called. The reason for this is you have requested me to keep this transaction strictly confidential. My country's gomen is tracing all calls made to and from other countries especially countries in the middle east and africa for the past 1 year. They are trying to track down terrorists operating in those region. I hope you understand as I do not want your dead father's money to be stucked your country and I hope to help you so that I can enjoy some of your dead father's money.

I think it is best we continue our correspondance by email since there are more than 3.4 trillion emails delivered in United States alone in one year. This will make it imposible for my gomen to track our transaction.

Emeka, I have not introduced myself properly to you. Now that I trust you I wish to introduce myself properly to you. My name actual name is Kia Su. KS is my initial and also my online name. You know how everyone uses another nickname online, don't you?

I'm an ex-gomen official here and I live quite comfortably on the pension and housing that the gomen provides me. That is how I know about my country's gomen spying on calls the telephone calls to/from African and Middle East countries. I really miss the interaction with other gomen officials and look forward to concluding this deal with you.

So now I wait for your reply on how to procced with our secret transaction.

Thank you,
Kia Su
=======================UnQuote=======================

Now, tell me if there is nothing wrong with my reply. I started off by showing interest to work with him, in the 1st and 3rd paragraph. Then added a little joke in between.

4th and 5th paragraph - another joke inserted there.

6th and 7th para - I introduced myself. Told him my real name and that I am an ex-government ex-gomen official... yea, right

Finally, I signed off as Kia Su.

The following day (yesterday), I got a reply below. He's a quick worker, isn't he? My boss would surely like this guy, answering mails so quickly. Haha!

=======================Quote=======================
Date: Thu, 3 Mar 2005 17:08:47 +0000 (GMT)
From: "emeka south" Add to Address Book
Subject: THE PROCEEDING OF THE TRANSACTION
To: "KS"

Tell: 27-73-4949086.
Dear Kia Su.,

Greetings and compliments of the day and how is your family? It is by God amazing grace that I got in contact with you.

At this point, I would like to assure you that this transaction is 100% risk free and all I want you to do for me is to help me transfer this money out of South Africa.

However, before we proceed, I would like to get the answers to these questions for more assurance:

1. What are the areas of investments in your country that are profitable?

2. Why I involved you in this transaction is because we dont want to invest this fund here in South African. So I want you to assure me that I will not have a problem in your country when we want to invest this fund. In otherwords,I would like to know if you will help me acquire a permanent residence status when I arrive in your country.

3. Are you going to assure me about the confidentiality of this transaction because I do not want some people to come after me in your country because of their knowledge of this money?

4. Do you agree that after the transfer has been effected and after you must have taken your own percentage, that you will still give me all the necessary assistance until I can stand on my feet when I arrive in your country.

My dear , I need your answers to these questions so that I can be assured that I am moving in the right direction.

Now based on the procedures of this transaction, the necessary thing we need from you is that you will come down to South Africa so that:

1. We can build a solid cordial relationship and I can know whom I am entrusting my life and future of my family in his hands.

2. For you to OPEN A NON-RESIDENT INVESTMENT BANK ACCOUNT where this money will be deposited for onward transfer into your foreign account. This will take three to four working days to conclude while you are here. After the fund has been transfered to your account in your country and you confirm from your local bank that the fund is in your account , We will then fly back with you to your country for the investment of the fund proper and the eventual relocation of my family to your country.

By this, a change of ownership/beneficiary name will be effected in your name. This is to include you as co-beneficiary of the fund/consignment thereby giving you unlimited access to the fund/consignment.

Also bear in mind that we will sign a JOINT VENTURE AGREEMENT when you arrive Johannesburg, South Africa before the commencement of this transaction.

Please I need your immediate response.Deu contact me with my private number 27-73-4949086 for more detalis. Once again we need to conculde this transaction as soon as possible please.

Thanks you once again for your understanding and coopraction.

God bless you and your family

Best regards,

MR. EMEKA

NOTE: I WANT TO KNOW ALL THESE THINGS:

1. Your private phone and Fax number.
2. How old are you.
3. Are you married or single.
4. What kind of business do you do.
5. How capable are you in handling a transaction of this magnitude.
6. The most importantly if your account can be able to accomodate this total funds.
=======================UnQuote=======================

Wow, Emeka's reply is more than what I expected. I didn't even think of getting a reply in the first place. He even called me "My dear"!!! Beh tahan... I will call him "My darling" next time... hahaha! He's asking me questions... help!! How do I answer them? I am not evil. Nyek nyek nyek! I am being invited to Johannesburg. Never been to South Africa, surely I must go la!

I am corresponding with 3 scam artists from Africa. Come back for updates if you are interested in my new found African scam artist friends. Right now, I will go book my tickets to Joburg. Lalalala... buahahaha!

Another scam mail

Holy cows! It's raining scam emails on me. Scam artists are coming after me... muahahaha. Another scam mail from Africa.

=======================Quote=======================
Date: Thu, 3 Mar 2005 03:35:52 +1100 (EST)
From: "mrsjoy bongo" Add to Address Book
Subject: FUND TRANSFER AND JOINT INVESTMENTS!!!!
To: "mrsjoy bongo"

TEL:27-83-9931-302.
FAX:27-11643-4108.
ATTENTION:DEAR

( ASSISTANCE BUSINESS PROPOSAL)
I got your good contact from the world business
enquiry in South African INTERNATIONAL JOURNAL, and I
sincerely believe that you are reliable in handling
this urgent and international transaction of this
sort.I am MRS JOY BONGO, the wife of COL.JAMES BONGO,
the chief of army staff and one of the bodyguards of
this Excellency General Laurent Kabila, the President
of the Democratic republic of Congo (DRC) who was
short dead alongside by a co-body guard COL Eny-Kupen
on the 16 January 2001 as a result of political
conflict and disorder between the generals in the
presidential villa.
i am currently based in south africa, Before my
husband died in Exchange of guns shorts, I know quite
well he deposited the sum of US$27.8M(TWENTY SEVEN
MILLION EIGHT HUNDRED THOUSAND)
United State Dollars) in a private security firm in
south Africa for an investment after retirement in
United Kingdom but due to opposition of my late
husband, i decided to tranfer the fund for an
investment.
However, this proposal is to inform you that I
would like to transfer this money into your account
overseas or into an offshore account within the
shortest time. It is in the light of this, that I took
my time to arrange for a confidential and trustworthy
individual who will assist me in transferring this
fund by coming to southAfrica to open a non-resident
account, so that we can move out this fund out of
South Africa for security reasons and this will be
made possible with the help of my late husband
attorney and his friend, the bank manager supervising
the transaction. I have intact all the necessary
documents covering the business.
Note: This transaction demands the highest degree of
trust and secret between us as I have these two
options for your assistance towards the transaction.
(a)In appreciation of your effort I have mapped out
the sharing of the fund as follows; 70% for me 25% for
your efforts,5% for all the expenses incurred in the
transaction . (b)You can
as well agree with me to join business of your choice
with me in your country.
remember that this business transaction demands all
sounds of screcy and confidentiality.Please try and
give me your telephone and fax numbers for easier
communication,and more details.
Thanks
Yours sincerely
MRS JOY BONGO
=======================UnQuote=======================

Scam update - Emeka South, take 1

It has been a hectic month for me. Been so busy with work in February. Trying to meet February's Sales budget, chasing after production, shipping out goods .... doing these and more and at the same time trying to figure out how to get orders to meet the budget for March! Life is like a Russian Circus for Sales people. Always facing the problem of meeting budget and at the end of the month get a good screwing from the manager and his boss jokers. This vicious cycle is neverending. Abit of advise for the new job seekers out there, if you don't have thick skin and can't take nagging from your boss then Sales is definitely not the job for you.

Anyway, back to the subject at hand on the African scam thingy. Here's an update of what transpired between Emeka South and I over the last few days. I added color to the emails between Emeka and myself for easier reading.

On 24th February 2005, I received a reminder from Emeka requesting me to reply so that we could move on with the transaction.

On the same day, I replied to Emeka and here's is my full reply to Emeka.

=======================Quote=======================
Date: Thu, 24 Feb 2005 05:47:10 -0800 (PST)
From: "KS" Add to Address Book
Subject: Re: URGENT BUSINESS ASSISTANCE
To: "emeka south"

Dear Emeka South

First of all, is it Mr Emeka South or Ms Emeka South?
I have a friend named Roberto South and people are
always confused which is his first name and which is
his last. Are you named after one of the hockey
players in the famous Russian Hockey Team called
Gofles Rukcuf Team, or is it just a common name in
Africa?

Sorry for the digression... now back to the business
at hand. Before we proceed further, I have a few
questions to put forward to you.

Emeka, you mentioned 6 million$ in the reserve bank.
Is this 6 million in South African Rand? or US
dollars?

You also mentioned I can have 30% of this 6 million. I
like you to consider 50% instead of 30%.

Emeka, how many family members do you have? Do they
know about your father's 6 million $? The reason I ask
this is if we do this without the knowledge from any
of your family members, then we could get more share
from your dead father's 6 million $.

You also mentioned that you are interested in
recommendations for investments here. We can talk more
about this later.

Thank you,
KS
=======================UnQuote=======================

You can see that my reply was abit comical.

In the first paragraph, I tried to be funny by asking if Emeka is a man or a woman's name and then trying to relate this name to a non-existance Russian Hockey Team called "Gofles Rukcuf". "Gofles Rukcuf" is actually "Go Fuck Urself" jumbled up together. "Fuck Urself" written backwards. Haha!

2nd and 3rd paragraph, hmmm... trying to be serious about this transaction. Gotta express some interest in the monetary value as well. 6 million u know!

4th paragraph - I followed GUB²'s suggestion to haggle for 50% instead of the 30% Emeka is offering.

5th paragraph - A little joke on Emeka before wrapping up the email just to see how the next reply from Emeka would be. Lol!

Okay... that was that and 4 days later. I received a reply from Emeka.

=======================Quote=======================
Date: Mon, 28 Feb 2005 14:08:52 +0000 (GMT)
From: "emeka south" Add to Address Book
Subject: Re: URGENT BUSINESS ASSISTANCE
To: "KS"

Dear KS ,

Thank for your mail and your willingness to assist me in this transaction.

However, I want you to help my family to transfer this fund out of South Africa for investments. All i need from you your private phone and fax number for easy communication then I will give you all the details of the t ransaction to enable us conculde it as son as possible.

furthermore, my family know about this transaction that is my mother and I and the small once but those once dont know any thing it is only my mother and I know about this deal. so send your profile for me as soon as you receive this mail.

Thanks and God bless.

EMEKA.
=======================UnQuote=======================

Seems Emeka is desperate to get in touch with me by phone and fax. Emeka did not reply to my questions except for the last part which I asked about how many of his/her family member know about this 6 million.

Okay, I gave Emeka a quick reply lecture of how to do business on the same day. My reply below.

=======================Quote=======================
Date: Mon, 28 Feb 2005 08:34:22 -0800 (PST)
From: "KS" Add to Address Book
Subject: Re: URGENT BUSINESS ASSISTANCE
To: "emeka south"

Dear Emeka,

I received your email but I guess you did not
understand the basics for doing business. I posed
several questions to you in my reply to you dated 24th
Feb 2005 but you email below did not attempt to
clarify those questions I raised to you except the
part which I asked you about your family members.

Therefore, I am giving you a chance to clarify and
reply to me point by point. I list below again my
questions to you.

i> Is it Mr Emeka South or Ms Emeka South?
I have a friend named Roberto South and people are
always confused which is his first name and which is
his last. Are you named after one of the hockey
players in the famous Russian Hockey Team called
Gofles Rukcuf Team, or is it just a common name in
Africa?

ii> You mentioned 6 million$ in the reserve bank.
Is this 6 million in South African Rand? or US
dollars?

iii> You also mentioned I can have 30% of this 6
million. I like you to consider 50% instead of 30%.

Bear in mind that it was you who seek my help in this
transaction in the first place so it would only be
fair for you to clear my doubts.

Thank you,
KS
=======================UnQuote=======================

I guess Emeka must be suprised to receive my above reply cos I got a reply from Emeka today.

=======================UnQuote=======================
Date: Tue, 1 Mar 2005 13:04:04 +0000 (GMT)
From: "emeka south" Add to Address Book
Subject: URGENT RESPONSE AND CALL 27-73-4949086
To: "KS"

ATTN: KS
FROM : EMEKA SOUTH

TELL: 27-73-4949086.

Dear Sir,

Thank you for your urgent response in this mail and your willingness to assist my family in this transaction.

However, I am very sorry for not clarify your question you ask me anyway below is your question:

1. I am Mr. Emeka South.
2. My last name is South.
3. I am not one of Russuan hockey.
4. Emeka is a comon name in Africa.
5. The 6Millon is in USD Dollars
6. I promise you that I will give you 30% I will not promise you that I will give you 50%. I hope 30% is ok for you.
7. Yes I look for your assistance in this transaction and I hope that you will assist my family to transfer this fund into your account without any problem.

I hope with all this question answed. I hope you will open up to me and give me your profile bother your private phone and fax number for easy communication in this transaction.

As soon as I hear your positive response in this issue I will give you more informaction so that we can conculde it as soon as possible. so you dont have to be afraid in any thing I hope by the grace of God every thing will be ok. please you have to keep this transaction secret and confidentail, because this fund is the hope of my family.

Finally if you have any question again you are free to ask.

Thank and God bless.

Emeka.

NOTE: I WILL LIKE YOU TO CONTACT ME WITH THIS PRIVATE PHONE NUMBER 27-73-4949086. FOR MORE CLARIIFCATION IN THIS TRANSACTION.
=======================UnQuote=======================

Lol! I laughed my ass off when I saw this reply. This time he replied my questions point by point. Lol!!!! Buahahaha.... evil laugh! I have yet to reply cos I could not stop laughing. So let me know what you want to tell Emeka next....